Style after the storm

Integration doesn’t just happen in your mind. It's finalised in your mirror.

“Sometimes you got to pop off and show n***ers, certified bogeyman, I’m the one to up the score with them”

Kendrick Lemar

After two essays steeped in shadow - babes, your darkness is showing (and it’s divine) and why I’ve always loved the villain — it’s time to pivot.

The responses from those last two pieces (and my most recent Note!), showed me that the resonance of this work is sitting under the surface of peoples skin. It ignited something. A forbidden topic we all swore not to mention — only we somehow forgot when the pledge was made or when it was supposed to come to an end!?!

The important thing now, however, is the remembering is underway. The cauldron is well and truly being stirred as people come to the very real conclusion that there is no light without darkness.

So allow me to introduce you to the next stage - now, it’s time to wear your darkness.

You might be wondering - how tf do I do that Simone?!

I consider this the icing on the proverbial cake. It’s how you embody your shadow work in a way that is powerful without having to utter a word. This is more than just wearing clothes. It’s about what you put on once you’ve buried the version of you who played nice for too long.

What are wearing to your past self’s funeral?

Who is the new you that rises from the grave?

This work is cyclical. Once you’ve met your darkness, you don’t stay in the underworld forever. There is a resurfacing.

You walk differently. Talk differently, hold yourself differently and lord almighty you should dress differently!

Your essence has changed and your style should reflect that.

This isn't about being “pretty”. It’s about being powerful, embodied and unafraid. It’s you slipping into your shadows and wearing them like silk. Unapologetically announcing who you are in this moment and being seen in your full wholeness.

It is Radical Authenticity - in all of its shapes, colours and forms.

When my relationship ended, I realised that I had to figure out who I was again after nearly 10 years. So I took the opportunity to embrace my secret and longtime love of latex, high shine PVC and harnesses. Sure I had used them in shoots over the years, but for me to wear them?! I hadn’t ever been quite brave enough.

Sounds like an extreme wardrobe addition to make, but as any good stylist, I found a way to incorporate them into my everyday wardrobe and had fun experimenting, pairing them with oversized printed t-shirts, mixing textures with knits and jersey jumpers, and harnesses over everything I could.

Harness and a day dress? Perfection!

At night, I went all out with over the knee-high boots, (barely there) bodysuits, sheer dresses and layered chokers.

Shit was fire and wearing them made me feel sexy again.

I had got into a rut in my relationship and no longer felt desirable. Or even like me anymore. The ritual of putting these on and gazing at myself in my mirror with nothing but a lit playlist, some gorgeously scented candles and my reflection, allowed me to rebuild my sense of self. As I began to admire and adore myself again, that radiated out and I carried that energy with me when I wore the outfits outside, holding the memory of the mirror.

mirror magic applies everywhere!

“Integration doesn’t just happen in your mind. It happens in your mirror.”

That’s why I ride so hard for mirror work and incorporate it into the work I do with clients. It is the alchemy that changes how you exist in the world. Most people look in their mirror with contempt. Not really looking at themselves, merely concentrating on what needs to be fixed and fading the edges out on the rest.

I mean, when was the last time you really looked at yourself? Took all of you in? Stretchmarks, spots, cellulite, lines, skin texture, and said - “thank you” or even - “I love you”.

I consider it a crucial relationship as this is where the reclamation begins. Mirror magic + glamour magic = a spell being cast.

Once you’ve descended into your internal landscape and pulled out the rotting beliefs, the trauma, faced your shadows and integrated them into your being with pride; now, you rise.

And you don’t come back from the underworld in beige darling! You come back in leather, mesh, silk, sequins, a riot of colour - whatever says - I made it out and brought the fire with me.

Style Alchemy is the next act of reclamation.

Darkness is a frequency, not a dress code. You can descend in sequins and reclaim in colour. You can wear all hot pink and be the baddest B in the room. When done with intention - glamour is spell work. You get the chance to control the narrative of your energy without watering yourself down and diluting your power.

The subject of darkness as liberation isn’t mainstream - yet. But it is starting to circle in people’s psyches.

We don’t consume darkness because we’re deranged. We consume it because we’ve been denied it, because we’re forced fed the lie of the light, while our wombs harbour a legacy of silence and survival.

The recent “Dark Feminine” trend on Tik-Tok shows evidence of that. Unfortunately it was more male-centrered and focused more on manipulation for male attention, cosplaying darkness to entice, or performing “dark psychology” to get your man to be obsessed with you, *insert eye roll here, but hey - we got to start somewhere I guess!

But that does tell you that the yearning is there. And that is what we’re building here.

The dark feminine doesn’t have to look dark - she just has to be unapologetically alive.

That’s the rebellion. We’re not bathing in cliches, we’re rising above them and creating our own versions.

---

If you want to see what this looks like in real time and maybe even start dressing your own shadow self, I’ll be diving deeper inside The Dark Room and in my upcoming masterclass.

Because this is about more than clothes.

It’s about letting the outside reflect what you’ve finally claimed on the inside.

With love and magic,

Sim xxx